I wanna bring you to show and tell
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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