Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
