does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
