there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
