just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
