you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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