about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
