You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
