did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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