is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
