What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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