my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
