He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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