Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
