Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
