Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
