The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
