I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
