Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
