How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
