I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
North Korea, Best Korea!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Randomize
