Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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