Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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