I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
