you would pick up someone in the library
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
