So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
