just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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