The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
