she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
