A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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