it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
