He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
