Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
