It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
