Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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