I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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