she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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