Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
