Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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