lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
