so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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