They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
