"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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