I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
