drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
