Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
