Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I will pee on everything he values.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
