My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Vodka?
Forever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Text me some of your sweat
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
