Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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