I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
