i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He shit in the fireplace
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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