Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
