I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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