At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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