I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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